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Yet, we must not forget that a majority of these shows almost exclusively catered to white, upper-middle-class storylines. Despite the fact that millions of Americans witnessed two men raise a happy and healthy daughter from the comfort of their living room sofas, it took a fan campaign to lobby Disney-owned ABC to finally allow Mitchell (gay actor Jesse Tyler Ferguson) and Cameron (straight actor Eric Stonestreet) to kiss (it finally happened in 2010).
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That was followed by Modern Family, the most popular TV show in the country for years.
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Luckily Will & Grace debuted in 1998 and the groundbreaking NBC series convinced many that gay people might not be so toxic (and wouldn’t scare off advertisers) - so much so that Vice President Joe Biden later credited it with changing his mind about same-sex marriage. RELATED: How TV is Putting the ‘B’ in LGBTQ - And Why It Matters It may appear quaint now, when we have TV series like Hulu’s Love, Victor (about a Latinx teen exploring sexual fluidity) or Netflix’s Bonding(about sex work and alternative sexuality), but the great gay panic set off by Ellen DeGeneres coming out on her sitcom in 1997 was a bombshell that didn’t necessarily convince the networks that they’d open the gates to LGBTQ experiences. That left a great swath of humanity desperate to see something that resembled their lives. And yet, for decades, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people rarely ever saw displays of affection. Maybe back then I just didn’t enjoy it.Who hasn’t learned to kiss from watching others do it onscreen? Before the internet and everyone having a device in their pockets, that was the way most of us casually absorbed images of desire and love. There isn’t any particular reason why I’ve changed.
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I just wasn’t massively comfortable with in the early days – mix of wrong guys etc – but as I’ve gotten older, I’m much more comfortable with who I am, and what my preferences are. I used to be top, then versatile and now bottom – I prefer it and it’s been ages since I topped.
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I’ve just developed my tastes as I’ve gotten older. | Photo: Randy Blue Taylor*, 33, gay, from Manchester I’m admittedly a terrible top, though, because, even though I can fuck a guy in terms of keeping a boner, it does nothing for me sexually. I’ve topped a handful of times in my life, but it just has never done anything for me, and it’s primarily been when I’ve been in a relationship as a concession to them. It causes me to orgasm and makes my orgasms more intense. The prostate is the g-spot for males, so it makes sense to like having it hit during sex. I prefer to bottom because, frankly, it feels better. I also think that generally I’m not a dominant person so I think that would also be a factor. I wouldn’t say I would be totally against it in the future as I appreciate that sex is about having fun, experimenting and experiencing different things with different people but I’m not rushing to change my Grindr preferences any time soon. I’ve tried topping before I set on being total bottom (funnily enough it was how I lost my virginity) and it’s just developed into a preference now. I’ve dated a body builder before and they asked me to top them and it felt so alien to me. At times I do wonder if it’s a size thing because I’m short and skinny and the guys I’m generally attracted to are the direct opposite of me and a part of me feels strange topping. Photo: Jimi Photog / Flickr Joao, 26, gay, from Londonįor me it’s a dominance/submission play. I don’t get as much stimulation when I top. I’m lucky that my partner is a total top, so we’re a nice fit. The orgasms I experience as a bottom are really intense and I think that’s only possible when I bottom. I’m not a natural dominant in bed and that is generally the position for the top. So generally, while I could top, it’s a lot of pressure on me to maintain stamina and energy. Then I feel awkward, especially if they are really enjoying it. If I am fucking someone – even if I am enjoying myself – I’m awkward with positions or getting a good flow so I tend to then get soft. People always assume I’m a top as I’m told I have an above average-sized dick, but while I get hard and horny, I generally go soft pretty easily. So being a total bottom is just easier I’ve found, especially if you are a bit more submissive like I am, and it’s what I do better at. Whenever I have topped, it’s generally quite a task for me and I have to be really quite horny for it. I then had little experience as a top, so I was always wary of being a top and I didn’t want to be a disappointing one. I would probably say that I just stuck with the position I began my sex life with.